Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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