My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
