He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
