I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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