How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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