I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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