Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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