I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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