He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
