Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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