sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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