I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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