So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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