Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
