Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
