By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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