Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
