I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
