i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize