no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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