Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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