He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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