oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
