she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
