oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
