Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
