just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
