you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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