I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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