And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
