Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
