can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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