all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
