is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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