In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
