no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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