Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
