just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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