Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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