I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We are all done wearing pants today
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
