I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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