That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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