your thong is hanging out like whoa
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
