Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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