she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
