It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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