I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
