Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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