I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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