Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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