we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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