? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
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He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
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We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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