I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize