I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
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So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
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I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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