So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
