i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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