Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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