i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Are we still banned from the library?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
