If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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