at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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