"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
