my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
